Is this cause worth my everything?
Sometimes looking other peoples' lives, i feel that deep sense of emptiness in their lives because i realsied that alot of them were just doing things to fill up the emptiness in their lives- trying so hard to find a purpose out of their life. Some of them just want to do nothing, when you ask are they happy with their life, they will just say that "as long as i do the things that i like to do, i am happy!!!" Hearing all these passive responses from my friends or the students that i met for street witnessing, just hurt me so much to see lives just being stucked in a cycle of routine activities- eat,sleep,play,internet,play games,clubbing,friends,BGR etc..Not knowing the real cost of lives. And all i could do everytime when i see such ppl passing by my sight in the train or bus, is to pray and utter a short prayer of blessing for them that they may realise the love of Christ is able to fill all things in life. After sometime, i asked myself or tried to recall back how is it like or feel to be like a Non christian? initially, i reali couldnt remember... but after awhile as i spent time alone at home surfing internet sometime ago...the entire day..my labtop was on ever since i woke up...and i jus started to surf internet and chat...trying to find something to do in it...but there is reali nothing except playing games,chat,youtube, check emails( the whole entire cycle keep on revolving the whoel day)...and soon realise one day had jus passed... wow...time really flies men... and it is also through this day, God helped me to remember the emptiness and the purposeless life of Non christians.. He helped me to also realise sometimes Christians can also easily falled into this trap, where procastination and laziness can just come out..
What about myself?what about christians?
Sometimes, even being a christian for so long, i also question myself is this cause worth my time,my passion,my family and my everything? this question came back to me when a freshmen came to ask me what do we do in crusade? i told him that we come together to study the word of God, having fellowship with one another and also do plan events too.. then he told me that is all...isn't that a waste of time? this qusetion came frm his mouth jus hurt me so much... i replied to him boldly that "it is not a waste of time" ( deep down in my heart i told myself that it is so true that when ppl do not recognise Christ as the saviour of their lives)
at that point of time, Satan also tried to deceive by confusing me and wanting me to doubt abt the things that im doing...
he made me question whether all these things that i m doing, is it worth it or is it jus a waste of time?
all i could say is that everything wil be MEANINGLESS....if God is the centre of everything of my life..seriouslly even serving can be empty too- when He is not placed as the most important one or the one whom we seek to please or glorify..
But i also started to wonder why Satan wants or had the chance of planting that doubt in my heart..and i came to this point when i thought of the christians around me..
Manyt times when i look at the christians or even the crusade juniors of mine, i'm wondering are they just following the motion of life or had losen sight of the eternal purpose of life- one that God had placed in us. It really disappoint me like sometimes seeing christians coming to church or crusade just for the sake of ppl, finding it as a refuge to hide themselves from the reality of not able to connect with their friends in class, find a place to slack, encouragements,satisfactions, look for friends and some unknown reason that i do not know too. And in fact if we were to take alook at the current condition of our crusade, it somehow had became into a refuge or "gambling den that was set inside the temple" mention in the New Testament by Jesus. People just started to come into crusade room o play game or slack around.It just disturbs me very much when i see such scenes in the place of God. This place had lost its purpose or maybe some of us had lost the distinctive of being the salt and light of the world in the campus. i wonder about that??
i came to guess that the reasons why satan can had that chance to deceive me, is that maybe i thought that my service to God should be equilvalent to the change in crusade- we should be seeing a movement by now... or is that had i finish reading the whole entire bible after this 3 years?after all these processing,only helped me to remember that a movement is a move of God not by men or their works. It is never about how much i had served him, only Him can bring a growth in ppl's lives not me!! likewise to the lives of the crusaders, it is not me who control their growth...and it is never about how knowledgable..it is about Him!! Hence i only can conclude that my service to HIm is worth it as i chose to follow the call of being a disciple maker in this campus, i had chose to invest in the young lives whom may know or do not know Christ. I only can say i am glad that i can be part of the process of spiritual multiplication though many times i looked back at how i could have spent my last 3 years in continueing doing adventures, outdoors sports and rock climbing- the things that i like to do. But i always remember these verses- "In the same way, any of you who does not give up everything he has cannot be my disciple."(Luke 14:33) and " one who look back and put his hand on the plow is not fit in the kingdom of God"
it had always encourage me not to look back but to place to my eyes on the things that God had placed in my life, focusing on fulfilling on what He wants me to do. I pray that God will soon bring a breakthrough and revival in my life and also the lives of the young ones in the ministry that he may bring a spiritual hunger in them. Lord pls raise up ur faithful labourers from ur children. Prepare the way for us o lord!!!
