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Author
cOrN3LyUs tAn aspired to be an artist n graphic desginer. an artist who paints for His Glory. a graphic designers who seeks to bring the unchanging Gospel to the changing world.
Adores
God,my dear big brother Jian Hao, my beloved disciples- shao wei n junkai,my family n His ppl.
Things I'd Like
The Chess Hotel - The Elms
a tweed vest egg tarts
world peace
i reali thx God that i always have a brother that is so close and so available beside me willing to share my problems tog. i am thxful cos i cld share my deepest probs with this is brother...and today is no exceptional too...
i felt very blessed today thru the sharing i had with this brother.... and this brother is my gor gor-Jian Hao...
we did evaluation together abt one one another....how have we been growing this 3 yrs....we oso shared abt one another's strengths n weaknesses....
i nvr had a time tat was reali set beside just for me to know my strengths n weaknesses...
cos not many will appreciate me...except the few ones that trully loves n cares for me....
nvr do i know my own strengths...gor gor told me he sees me as a strong person who has gone thru so much tog with God... he affirmed me in alot of areas in my life...and i reali felt encouraged by all those words tt he said...
and i remembered once i shared with kha n tina is that all i needed or hope for was ppl's simple words of affirmation n appreciaition...but sometimes ppl are just too caught up with their own stuff that they forgotten or neglected me...
and i reali thx God is tat He always uses gor gor to encourage n affirm me.... it was an answered prayer..cos i always pray for encouragement to my heart..cos i m reali exhausted le..i need to refill myself...
i thx u God.thx for all these blessings that u brought to me al these yrs...
Never knew I could feel like this Like I've never seen the sky before Want to vanish inside your kiss Every day I love you more and more Listen to my heart, can you hear it sings Come back to me, and forgive everything Seasons may change, winter to spring But I love you until the end of time
[Chorus:] Come what may Come what may I will love you until my dying day
Suddenly the world seems such a perfect place Suddenly it moves with such a perfect grace Suddenly my life doesn't seem such a waste It all revolves around you And there's no mountain too high No river too wide Sing out this song and I'll be there by your side Storm clouds may gather And stars may collide But I love you until the end of time
Oh, come what may, come what may I will love you, I will love you Suddenly the world seems such a perfect place
Then i went to meet up with aunty and joel to plan for our retreat for the freshmen... we are in charge of the team building games...as usual there wil be no single time that i wont laugh tog with aunty de....during the midst of the meeting...we suddenly mentioned abt korea or wat...but anyway it was then i recalled a joke that we cracked when we were at korea...
i asked aunty does she remember abt what happened wen we were at korea anot?then it took quite a while for her to remember...old le la...anyway she is only like 21 ba....haha....
anyway this was the conversation that happened in korea btw me,aunty n gor gor on the van....
aunty:" corny, so what do u plan to do in the future??" corn:" haiz....go navy after graduate...serve le five year then serve God full time as a staff..then after that study designs and set up a boutique tog with gor gor lor....then hope to be a pastor after that....yup yup..."
aunty:"wow....so what kinda of clothes are u intending to sell in ur boutique???"
oh men this is the greatest part of the conversation....
corny:" im goin to sell Bi-SEXUAL clothes....."
(after a moment of silence,there break in the great laughters...)
aunty:" ah boy....Bi-Sexual clothes!!!!! are u saying unisex shop????!!!! what bi-sexual!!!! liew....."
hahahahahhhahhahahah........
oh men even ytd we laughed until cry la...tog with kha kha n phyllis la....
finished my math paper ytd..oh men screwed up the section C for the paper...haiz... but nvm...anyway it was a relief for me as it was the last paper for the week...at least can slack awhile after chonging for the past two consecutive days men...haha....
ytd had lunch with bing,belle,sarah and gor gor at pizza hut...was a great meal tog men....it was so long since i last ate pizza hut cos it is expensive to me la... haha...
then went to arcade and played... haha...isabelle was saying that it seemed that we haven ended exams then we are already goin out to play le haha...ya ytd feeling and mood was like we finished al our papers le....
we played daetona... believe it or not it is like my 2nd time playin daetona...was like a noob la....i reali do not like to play such video games....or perhaps to such game ba....in contrast i do play the Mario Cart in the arcade de tog with gor gor...haiz if let shi pin or bee see this entry...im goin to be labelled as cavemen again le....hai...
after daetona we played the dance evolution thingy....the step step one haha.... all of us were noobs for this machine men... can u imagine it is supposed to be single person game but it turned out five of us playing the dance game...each of us in charged of one direction....so embarassin men but it was fun la...
to our suprise, we saw " VERA" dancing para para xia.... haha no la...we saw a Vera look alike gal....oh men u can nvr imagine how much this gal look alike to vera...lets take alook at "VERA" dance ba....
haiz......!!!!!!!!!!!!! it is one of the news that i always do not hope to hear abt it so soon....but i think the thought of nt wantin to go navy so soon,finally gt hold of me ytd...
a msg frm my classmate suddenly interrupt my lunch tog with tina and samuel.. a msg saying" enlsitment 10 april, BMT will be on the first day of our enlistment"
gosh...... it just turned me off men....i thot it was the saddiest news of the day men.... haiz.....cant imagine that i m goin in to navy that soon... i thot i will onli goin to navy on june..thinking still can see the new batch of freshmen coming in...and i thot i cld still stay until ben they al start their DG... haiz...all these is goin to past very soon after i come back frm gen12...
time is running short...jus have to look fwd ba...and make my days count itself....
well, i thot today was a great day for me men...relaxing,refreshing...
sch ended early... went to do fyp report.. then went for prayer meeting led by pris...
well i cld really feel the presence of God whenever i pray...today was no different.. and His presence nvr fails to cut thru those inner thoughts in my mind.. today's prayer theme was on Repentance and i thot pris reali shared well abt this topic.. it was refreshing and it helps me to see sin frm God's perspective... like wat prisci shared...many times we only see God's mercy and grace..but we dun see that God is a just God too...He judge accordingly....to our sins..He will use His shepherd staff to discipline His children... it was today that i remembered tt i need to fear God...
lord this is my prayer, that u wld create a new heart in me...a steadfast spirit within me...and oso a willing spirit to obey u no matter what..psalm 51:10-11
today felt very relaxed...no agenda...no plans...just company old friends-fio,aunty,kha for chit chat and eat ice cream...it was a great time tog with aunty,fio and joc as we sat down and plans for our Gopeng trip...it was jus filled wif laughters la...it was like back to when we were yr 1....haha..jus enjoyed tt company...
oso went to cut my hair tog with gor gor and keng leong.... it wasnt keng leong's plan to cut his hair...but i thot it wld be great jus to give him a new look hehe....and we helped him to choose a punk and hip hair style...
well keng leong was so innocent and pure la...he nvr had his hair style changed before... and when he was abt to cut his hair..the hair stylist said to him tt he will help keng leong to cut a stylo hair style....then guess wat keong leong replied "is there medium stylo one ma?"
haha at that instance, it was so funny la....so cute..
welll anyway he actually likes his new look very much...
i guess when we came into keng leong's life , we had somehow become a revolution in his life le...haha...
well,i reali pray tt he will grow mature when we leave...and he will be well taken care of by the lord's hands...
ong ji and me... my first pic wit keng leong..i reali pray tt he will take care of himself wen we are away.. my beloved disciple,shao wei...pray tt he will multiply for Him wen im away.. me and gor gor got sicked of one another..
aaron and me.. angel protecting his mortal.. jia hui,me and ning...
ytd was our last day at CrossRoads for all the Yr3...i believe many came and also left with a heart that was grateful to how God has placed us in crusade and how He used this ministry to bless us in the relationships that we had formed and the beautiful memories that He created in this 3 yrs..
and though i made a pact with my mortal that we wil nt cry but eventually when i went up to the stage to share my feelings n the last words that i wanna share to the ministry.. felt so embarassed men..haha...but it reali came from the bottom of my heart men...it really pains me of leaving this ministry...
i actually cried the day b4 the CrossRoad too in my toilet...and i made a prayer unto the Lord to bless this ministry richly after i leave...i really hope that this ministry wil bring glory to Him and also honor Him as the centre of everything..this is my prayer lor..
it really pains me..im sure that i m gonna miss my juniors very much men..esp like ben,king chi,vera,wesley,shei pin,isabelle,yi ning,shao wei,srini,keng leong... all this diff ppl added colors to my life men....and i am oso gonna miss ronald,pris,shushyan men...cos they taught me much and i went thru much tog with em too....i love u all men...
well, im sure tat we will meet at one of the crossroad of our lives....we will meet again...will miss ya all...
my first pic with shei pin..didnt noe he like pic..haha.. me and my long lost senior-floren..miss her men... the yr3 guys plus alex who is nt a yr3-.-
If you leave, don't leave now Please don't take my heart away Promise me just one more night Then we'll go our separate ways We always had time on our sides Now it's fading fast Every second every moment We've gotta make it last
I touch you once, I touch you twice I won't let go at any price I need you now like I needed you then You always said we'd still be friends someday
If you leave, I won't cry I won't waste a single day But if you leave, don't look back I'll be running the other way Seven years went under the bridge Like time was standing still Heaven knows what happens now You've gotta say you will
I touch you once, I touch you twice I won't let go at any price I need you now like I needed you then You always said we'd meet again someday
day, day, day
I touch you once I touch you twice I won't let go at any price I need you now like I needed you then You always said we'd meet again someday
(ha, ha, ha, ha, ha) If you leave if you leave Don't look back Don't look back
i dun know how to describe tis feeling men..dunno wld i say i am sad or happy after doing a closure with my disciples in my dg...
i am now in a stage of sadness and oso a feeling of "cant bear to leave the school" becos of the disciples in my dg, my frens,the ministrythe staff team, my beloved ones- jason,kha,bee,fio,joc,bing,sarah,evan,tina,ben,wes,ning etc...really cant bear to leave these ppl tat was part of my poly life...
and oso the crusade room where i found worships durin my yr 1 days...found my fellowship...the room where i left alot of memories...the room where we held most of our meetings...
these were the ones who added colors into my poly days...i realli thx God for al these ppl..ppl who changed me, turn the funny side out of me... i thx God for the chance to lead the ministry these 3 yr...nvr wld i expect that time wld flies so this fast men..
everything seems like ytd...it was like as if i led and planned the 25hr camp'05 ytd tog with joc,jason,kha,bing,jason wong, colin,junnie, chang yao... it was like as if i jus came back from survivor camp that we planned in 06 tog with my Ecom- gor gor(Jian Hao), Joc,evan and Ron....it was so fun and cool men...and i think that many of the crusaders liked that camp very much too... it was like as if i jus begin leading a DG ytd... it was as if i took up the role as a ASC ytd... it was as if i jus came back frm Meta 06...
ha...time jus seem to make no sense to me anymore..it has no more control of my mind...ha..wat toking me men...anyway i jus mean that 07 seems like 06, 06 seems like 05 and vice versa...
jeez... if pris did nt pray for me today and say that actually i jus cant bear to leave this place...this place in SP...i still did nt realise that i actually cant bear to leave this place...
well nw, all i can look forward to the days in navy...where it is filled with uncertainties and fears.. and then look fwd to the day and yr when i will serve as a full time crusade staff...
but as for now i am looking fwd to the days i will go out with my dear ones- gor gor,kha,jas,joc,fio,ian,tina to Pahang for our outdoor adventurous trip...heheh filled with many activties like waterfall abseiling,paintball, 4 wheel drive, white water rafting men.... cool men...
dear ones i m looking fwd to go out and hang out tog men...
"Restore to me the joy of your salvation and grant me a willing spirit, to sustain me." Psalm 51:12
lord, thank u for reminding me that many times though outwardly we may be serving u but do not know sometimes we have lost the reason of why we do it. we can be just living life like motion. not knowing that we are dead in our heart- dead to you.
sometimes, do nt know whether if we know that we sometimes do reali have a void in our heart. we have came to a time where we find no meaning in doing anything.
and i remembered tat i shared this with joc- abt sometimes i jus gt so tired and sick of doing things. and she said that it is a stage that we are alrdy being stagnant in our growth. well, it jus seems scary or perhaps nt right, this shouldnt be a life that i ought to live or wat. there is more than this...
and today as i was reading this article, it jus hitted hard on me that in fact i do reali have a dead heart sometimes..
cos i found myself or in fact others too, being so caught up in working and relationships problems, hatred and bitterness to sink in and forgotten abt God.
a heart that loses the meaning of why im doing certain things. a heart that loses the joy of my salvation. Joy!!! talking abt joy...ya i think it is so divine. the theme of my church this yr is Going out with JOY.
what is the use of going out mission when we ourselves are nt right with God, we have not settled our issues with Him, or perhaps lost the joy of our salvation alrdy... that is what Pastor Edmund Chan said today.
yeah perfectly agree with that!! after hearing n reading a similar thing, it jus caused me to need to go back to God in prayer and gif thanks. cos i noe this is nt the 1st time hearing this but thanks for His constant reminder.
sth to ponder: When was the last time I spent any quality time with my Lord? When was the last time I delved into reading God's word and focused on sincere prayer?
Do you have a void in your heart that you have unsuccessfully been trying to fill with things other than God?
John 4:13-14, "Jesus answered, 'Everyone who drinks this water will be thirsty again, but whoever drinks the water I give him will never thirst. Indeed, the water I give him will become in him a spring of water welling up to eternal life.'" (NIV)
Luke 20:38, "He is not the God of the dead, but of the living, for to him all are alive." (NIV)
a bag of of close brothers and sisters i have in christ....during ian and my early bdae celebration...
bowling with my beloved drama team men...
ronald,me and gor gor at korea...yeah it was one of my highlights of 07..
my dream came true..to be part of a drama team....God just made my dream come true, to allow to do sth that i always like to do- PerformING arts!!! and thru this i gt to make such great frens yeah....love em totally!!
expedition to sungei slim at Perak...preparin to abseil from a 4 stories hard rock...cool dude..
a very well tamed squirrel on my body....it is like totally cool...my favourite animal men...gosh...dream came true again in 07 at taiwan...
time really flies...i am going to graduate in a month time...looking back at how God has watched me and blessed me in my past 3 years in SP. God really left beautiful footsteps in my life thru SP.
My first SMAD...With my DG and my yr 3 seniors...look at me i am so skinny.. like monkey..haha...
community time tog with my classmates..
ever first survivor camp..looking back...it was such a great time serving tog with my Evangelism com( ron,gor gor,evan and joc joc) remember that we had to rackie Ubin so many times, went thru difficult tracks and woods, stay in the heavy rain at Ubin and think of last min back up plan for the rainy day during the last day of survivor..
my first meta...was great..the best meta i ever had...was so homely and just simply awesome...a place where i captured the vision to be a spiritual mulitplier...
This is a song for Him.i want to live for Christ not for myself.Lord establish the steps of my life this yr, not just this yr but the rest of my life. lord, i know the old has gone and the new is coming. Lord, i choose to believe that u are and u will work in my life. Lord, i choose not to mind abt the former things of my life, but having my eyes fixed on u with the hope i have in Christ. my hope is in u! in ur most almighty name i pray.Amen!
I make a vow My life will always honour you Whether I live or die
I belong to Him He bore my sin I owe this life to my saving King
Hallelujah, I am not my own You are in control Hallelujah
For me to live is christ And to die is gain No matter what price i pay I choose to give this life away